At 9:30 p.m. in Santa Monica on a recent Friday night, I found myself standing outside a hair salon, my Partiful app assuring me with a rock-and-roll hand-sign emoji that “you’re on the list.” There were about three people in front of me — the first being a man in a pink furry jacket and disco-ball-shaped bag. By 9:40, there were more and more people streaming in from the streets and sidewalks. “Are you guys in line for the restaurant?” a passerby asked, pointing to the place next door. “No,” someone said, and they explained we were all here for a DJ set. “In the salon?”
Indeed, we were all Soft Clubbing. Nightlife isn’t dying (not yet!), but for many young millennials and Gen-Zers, it is evolving into something less chaotic, more considered. It’s what happens when a generation raised on overstimulation and burnout wants the fun without the fatigue. Gone are the nights of partying until 4 a.m.; instead, we’re spending evenings (or, just as often, afternoons) “partying” at coffee shops, cafés, and, yes, hair salons. It’s about showing up for a specific vibe, with specific intentions — catching a set with friends, maybe meeting someone new, and calling it a night by midnight.
“I would say 30 to 50 percent of the time when I go out it’s chill, DJ focused,” said Natalie Couture, a blue-haired 25-year-old who was one of the few on line before me. Her friend Kate Gearin, also 25, looked around the room. “I tend to barhop mostly,” she said. “I’m not super-club-y.”
@tellsomebodypresents ✂️
Most of the people I met on the line had heard about this specific show through a friend, or their boyfriend, or by following @TellSomebodyPresents on Instagram, an organizer of pop-up shows (as they say, “partying where we shouldn’t”) in New York and L.A. that boasts a modest (but growing) 5,364 followers. By the time I got to the door, some 1,600 people were “on the list,” with many, many on the line still waiting to be taken off the waiting list, the text blast emphasizing “first come, first served.” (Though, like any good line outside of a party, that didn’t stop a few from going straight to the front.)
Inside, there was one lone salon chair and mirror in the corner, which some used to check their faces before heading into the growing crowd, while the rest of the salon had been wiped clean and locked up, making way for a dance floor that had now been furnished with some neon signage behind the DJ area and a disco ball overhead. There were drinks for purchase in the back — cans of High Noons and Stellas and some others — but many in the crowd weren’t holding or drinking anything. DJs Leor Amar (a.k.a. RELO) and Jackie Hollander took hold of the crowd, and people were raising their hands, dancing, and moving their heads. And it all works — the intimacy of the setup, not intensity, setting the tone.
@tellsomebodypresents Yall craaaazzyyyy 🫶
That was the draw for 32-year-old Samantha Morcos: This wasn’t her first night soft clubbing, she told me. She’s been to parties thrown by AM.RADIO, an organizer that does “morning sets,” hosting DJs at coffee shops in different cities. In L.A., they’re often hosted at Boulevard Coffee on Abbott Kinney. “I’m not really a club girl,” she said. “But I’m into social events and intimate venues. I love the culture AM.RADIO is creating, encouraging us to be social, to be a morning person — coffee, music, I love that.”
@am.radio.la This is why I love LA #housemusic #amradio #dj #coffeeshop #djset AM RADIO Coffee shop DJ set Lot radio Boiler room Cafe Coffee shop LA House music Dance music
Alongside TellSomebodyPresents and AM.RADIO, more organizers, venues, and brands are embracing this softer, more intentional approach to nightlife. Longtime organizer Daybreaker, which often had a focus on active dancing in the early hours of the morning, has now started to include these curated coffee-shop music sets (alongside its traditional programming and new offerings like spa parties). Similar energy is showing up everywhere from Antwerp (and other parts of Belgium) to Melbourne to London — but no matter the city, the core appeal is the same: low-stakes environments, curated music sets, and space to actually connect. As Shryke, a host and DJ for London-based music-discovery platform NTS Radio, said in an interview: “Giving people options with things like Club Soft (a day party in London) and so many other things that are springing up is giving people options. It’s not trying to accept defeat on club culture, or say it’s gone and we’ll just try to do what we can around the edges — no, it’s saying we’re going to put on something really good that we really believe in and we’re going to bank on the fact that other people are going to believe in it too.”
Soft clubbing is less about escaping and more about tuning in. By the time I left the salon, it was barely midnight — though many events wrap even earlier when held during the day. There was no dress code, and the few men covering the door were simply checking IDs — there was no velvet rope or quick scan deciding who is in and who is out. Covers are low or nonexistent, and while the bar is open, the drinks are seemingly secondary. I looked up to see the disco ball still spinning and looked around at the people dancing. One group of girls was just jumping up and down — smiles all around.
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