Rules to Live By
Inspired by our popular etiquette guide: New rules for behaving in polite society.
If you need advice on your romantic relationships, you should probably call Da’Vine Joy Randolph. “The first time that I hear there’s trouble in paradise, I’m gonna be like, Babe, let’s just see,” she tells The Cut. “The third time, I’m bringing in some wise advice. I’m not gonna withhold it.” The Oscar-winning actress has mastered the Socratic method, asking open-ended questions meant not to push her friends toward one decision or another but to let them come to their own conclusion. It’s a skill she put to use in David Freyne’s A24 dramedy Eternity, in which she plays an afterlife coordinator with plenty of tough love for her client who’s caught in a love triangle decades in the making.
Eternity made its debut at the 2025 Toronto International Film Festival and is sure to become an instant comfort classic as an endearing high-concept rom-com. Randolph, in a platinum-blonde wig, plays Anna, the AC assigned to guide Larry (Miles Teller) toward making a choice that will determine his forever after — picking a themed “eternity” (think hyperspecific slices of Heaven like “beach world” and “Studio 54 world”). The problem? He’s stuck in a love triangle between his longtime wife, Joan (Elizabeth Olsen), and her ex-husband, Luke (Callum Turner), her first love, who died in combat. Luke has been waiting 67 years for Joan to pass away before making his own choice — his AC, Ryan (John Early), is just as excited to get his client out of purgatory.
This isn’t Randolph’s only fan-favorite project. Households around the world are preparing for an annual cozy rewatch of The Holdovers, the touching Christmas film that brought her an Oscar win for playing Mary, a grieving mother. Over in some telephile communities, Hulu’s High Fidelity is a one-season cult classic, a show Randolph and Zoë Kravitz are plotting to bring back from cancellation. One could also argue Only Murders in the Building, in which Randolph plays a detective, is a comfort watch. But Eternity’s trajectory for Joan leads to a gut punch of a final act that will bring a tear even to rom-com skeptics.
Ahead of the film’s wide release on November 26, the actress shares conversations that have occurred around High Fidelity’s second season, her love for hosting dinner parties, and why she always tips well.
Eternity showcases dozens of possible “eternities.” Which do you think you would pick?
It’s a mix of “man-free world” and a skosh of “luxury-resort world.” Like, just the best hotels, and there’s no men there to bother you. If they are, then they’re just the wait staff serving you. And it’s just a fabulous time. Come on, eternity, give me peace.
I don’t want to spoil your arc, but I love your dynamic with John Early in this film. What was the vibe like on set?
I was such a fan of his. Search Party came out around the same time as High Fidelity, and I remember being like, Yo, this guy is crazy talented. I was so into him. So when they told us he was going to be a co-star, I was like, This is going to be fab. And we just hit it off. He’s so natural and so hilarious and the kindest, sweetest person ever. So it was very easy for me to do my job. He must have been so fun as a kid.
Speaking of High Fidelity: At the very back of my mind and in my heart, I still hope a miracle will happen and it will be brought back from cancellation. Is it true that the second season was supposed to focus on your character, Cherise?
I know it was a conversation. When you’re a series regular, there’s always a conversation of, Yes, we want to do more. But to the extent that Kingsley Ben-Adir was talking about in his interview, no, I was not aware it was at that level. It was very exciting and then, womp womp. I’ll say this: Zoë Kravitz and I, whenever we bump into each other, we’re always like, Babe. I’m like, I know. We’re very aware of it, and we hear you guys, and we’re brainstorming and trying to figure out a way, if it’s possible. Just know it’s not because we didn’t want to do it. We loved that job; we would love to do more of it. So I would say keep doing what you’re doing because it’s getting people’s attention. And people are definitely like, Maybe we should …
Wait … this is interesting. I can see it coming back. It has become such a cult classic.
I get this question all the time, and I actually love it. It warms my heart because I’m like, Wow, what we did, it mattered. We cared so much. It was idyllic, come on — New York, summer, filming on the street. It was one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had. We were young actors doing our thing. We wanted it really to be good, and we were so motivated and driven by it. So it really means a lot to us that you guys just love it so much. It is honestly a question I never get tired of hearing, and it just means the most to us.
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Getting into our “Rules to Live By” questions: What are your rules for hosting a successful dinner party?
Be prepared and have a little bit too much of everything. Have extras. I always go and buy really cute takeout containers so they can continue to remember the amazing experience they had at my house.
You’re quite the host! How do you curate who attends these gatherings?
The greatest thing you can do as a host is care and know who your audience is, who your guests are, and make them feel at home and comfortable. Let’s say I throw a party and I’m like, Oh, I really like that person. I want to add them in the rotation. For people I invite on the regular, I keep a little diary in my Notes app of just like, They like this, they don’t like that.
We’re on a press tour now. We’re about to go all over the world, and I’m a little snobbish about hotels because, listen, I’m on the road more than I am at home, so I need to be comfortable. What feels the most amazing is when the hotel staff remember me, they know the things I like, it’s there in the room when I come in. That feels so amazing. I’m very fortunate to have those experiences all over the world. I try to bring that same kind of quality to my guests. You can still do that stuff on a budget. It’s just caring and taking that extra step. The biggest compliment is if someone falls asleep at my house. I’m like, Oh, I did it. I made them feel at home.
What’s your No. 1 rule for tipping?
Do it. You gotta do it. That’s my food and my beverage! Why would I not tip you? I want to have the best experience possible. And you can tell immediately when we got a really good waiter. But tip even if service sucks. Kill them with kindness because imagine how they’re going to feel like, Wow, I totally did not deserve this. It’s karma. It’ll come back to you in all the best ways.
In Eternity, Anna has to be impartial even if she really wants to root for one of Joan’s husbands over the other. What’s your No. 1 rule for advice giving when it comes to relationships?
It depends on how well I know you. With the besties, I’m gonna be transparent. We don’t have time. I’ve known you for a very long time. Cut it out. If it is a new relationship, something they’re more sensitive to, I give the first two chats. I am hopeful and optimistic, and I am rah-rah-ing you all the way: He’s the one. Oh my God, this is it. She’s in love with you, whatever. I’m gonna go down the delulu lane with you.
I try to also put myself in their shoes: Da’Vine, how would you want to be cared for and handled in this situation? But I’m never gonna lie to you. I may withhold in regards to timing, and let’s see, I could be wrong. Normally, I’m not. People are people, and the signs are usually on the wall and the red flags are there, but we got to wait it out a little bit. Give people a chance. You never know, they may surprise you. But no, it’s transparency and truth. With love.
What’s your No. 1 rule while walking on the street in New York City?
Have your wits about you. We’re in a city, hello! Be focused. Have fun, do your thing, but have awareness. Be polite. If it is a busy street, have spatial awareness. If you bump into someone, say excuse me. Watch out for those cars because they do not care. Also, enjoy all the eye candy. I’m a fashion girl. I gotta get my sartorialist dose, my streetwear inspo. I’m a voyeur when it comes to that. I’m just like, yum, yum, yum, eating it up. I’ll take pictures of people as discreetly as possible. Living in L.A., it’s different. We drive in our cars. Hate to say, the fashion is not the same as New York.
What’s your No. 1 Oscars red-carpet fashion rule?
Put it on. Wear the ish. Don’t be scared. Try it. Be fearless. Good tailoring goes a very long way. Just try it, it’s probably not going to be that bad. And if it is, great, learn from it and do something else.
