The Paper’s Sabrina Impacciatore still hasn’t visited Ohio, but she has now officially traveled through time. During the 2026 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony, the White Lotus actress went through a century of winter sports. And yes, the ’80s section was pretty coke-y.
The extended dance piece started with Impacciatore on her couch watching the Games. She was then kidnapped by the Olympics’ “first openly Gen-Z” mascots, Milo and Tina. Why are they “openly” Gen Z? Why do the mascots have an age to begin with? This was only the start of the incomprehensibility of this segment. From there, Impacciatore flew through Winter Olympics of years past, in what looked like shoddy AI, as if inspired by that one Kim Kardashian cell-phone game (RIP).
Just when we were thinking, Oh, I guess they only had Sabrina for a day? And the rest has to be AI? Sad!,” Impacciatore came to life and appeared onstage IRL, only to be menaced and danced at by Winter Olympians from every decade. The ’70s segment used Adriano Celentano’s masterpiece “Prisencolinensinainciusol” as its backing track. The song is what Celentano thought American English sounded like and was inspired by the Tower of Babel story from the Bible. The ’80s section used a Giorgio Moroder–sounding oontza-oontza score, with neon-clad skiers breakdancing and saving the community center à la South Park. All the while, Impacciatore continued dancing her spandex-clad tush off. It was bold, brash, and nonsensical. Exactly what we’ve come to expect from Sabrina Impacciatore.
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