There have been countless reality shows about singles looking for love and TikTok followers in a resort location: Love Island, Bachelor in Paradise, Temptation Island, FBoy Island, Too Hot to Handle, and so on and so on. And there also have been a few shows that feature the inner lives of virgins, most of them airing on TLC. But shockingly, Hulu is about to be the first platform to air a reality show about virgins hooking up on an island. Are You My First?, formerly known as Virgin Island and known in my heart as “Love Island for virgins,” premieres with all ten episodes today.
Hosted by former Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe and former (virgin) Bachelor Colton Underwood and produced by the devious minds that brought you Love Island, Are You My First? feels like a regular resort-hookup show with slightly more awkward contestants. Producers found 21 singles in their 20s and 30s all willing to attest to the fact that they are virgins. They seem to be going on the honor system: Underwood simply asks all of them to raise their hands during the first episode to signal that they are, in fact, sexually inexperienced. Everyone says “yes.” But not everyone has come to this state of being for religious reasons, as you might assume.
Rachael, a 30-year-old former bottle-service waitress, says she has waited to have intercourse because she suffers from vaginismus. (She unfortunately has to explain this condition to every male contestant she talks to.) Madi, a 28-year-old marketing manager, seems to be celibate out of fear. “To me, sex is scary because penises are scary-looking,” she tells the camera. She’s hoping her first time is with someone “loving and caring.”
Some of the contestants are just straight-up religious, though. Mike, a 34-year-old former Bachelorette contestant (he was on Katie Thurston’s season), says his Christian faith calls him to wait for marriage. Noah, a 25-year-old Benson Boone look-alike, says he’s Mormon, so, same.
I was hoping to see some kind of licensed therapist, or even a life coach, on set to help these people decide whether or not they actually want to have sex for the first time in the context of a reality show, but alas, no dice. The contestants’ only counsel seems to be coming from Bristowe and Underwood, who spend most of their time putting together color-coordinated outfits and making prewritten jokes about virgins. Underwood’s history as an outspoken reality-show virgin is glanced at, but for obvious reasons, he does not go into detail about his past. (In short: Underwood appeared on The Bachelor as a virgin looking to date women, got accused of stalking and harassing his girlfriend Cassie Randolph after the show, and then later came out as gay and married Jordan C. Brown.)
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This is unfortunate, as the contestants do not seem to have an amazing base of sexual knowledge. During the “cherry-pop challenge” in episode two — a game in which the men have to answer basic questions about women and sex — one contestant reveals that he thinks pregnancy lasts six months, not nine.
Meanwhile, the pace of Are You My First? is slower than most dating-reality shows. In the first three episodes, the only goal seems to be snagging a randomly assigned “V card,” which entitles the owner to take someone out on a date. It takes the producers until episode four to complete the first elimination ceremony, imaginatively dubbed a “virgin sacrifice.” But instead of having the contestants choose a partner during the ceremony, the hosts ask everyone to vote for the person of the opposite sex who they think is least likely to find love at the resort. This lends the whole proceeding a somewhat confusing, Survivor-esque edge. Truthfully, after watching the first four episodes made available for review, I still don’t understand the rules of the game.
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“It definitely would have been cool to lose my virginity,” says one of the “sacrificed virgins” on their way out of the resort. In fact, in the first few episodes, the contestants barely kiss each other. Instead, there’s a lot of talking on this show. All of the contestants are ostensibly straight, and unlike on Love Island, they sleep in sex-segregated rooms at the resort, so there’s no funny business happening at night. So I guess “winning” means staying on the show and potentially finding someone to sleep with at a later date?
In the trailer for the season, there’s at least one night-vision clip of a couple lying down on a bed (gasp). In another teaser, one of the male contestants confesses, “I’m not really a virgin.” And plenty of the contestants seem motivated to find their first sexual partner. “I don’t want to die a virgin; I want to have sex!” says Rachael in episode two. I hope she gets her wish.
