Bari Weiss, the conservative media star and newly installed head of CBS News, on Tuesday attended the RedBird Capital annual general meeting — basically a conference for wealthy media types to talk about things like “disruption,” AI, and the prospect of what one outlet called a “conservative newspaper to rival The New York Times.” Sounds fun. While media elites like Graydon Carter and Jeff Zucker appear to have arrived solo, Weiss pulled up with “no less than six” bodyguards, according to Breaker Media.
The outlet published several photos of Weiss’s security detail and was careful to note one important detail: They’re all hot. Dubbed by Breaker as “Bari’s Beefy Bodyguards,” the men tasked with protecting Weiss on the rough-and-tumble streets of the Upper West Side drew comparisons to Hugh Jackman and Enrique Iglesias. The New York Post picked up the story, running it with the headline “CBS News boss Bari Weiss has 6 ‘beefy, chiseled’ bodyguards in protection detail.” Hubba hubba.
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The real question is not whether Weiss actually needs half a dozen security guards to walk from her car to the side entrance of the New-York Historical Society. That’s none of my business. The real question is whether any of these guys are actually hot. After carefully inspecting Weiss’s group of protectors, I feel comfortable saying there is one actual smokeshow and the rest just look like normal men. The one who’s hot is really hot, though.
I don’t agree with Weiss on much, but we can agree on one thing: We need to bring levelheaded truth back to journalism. The Post headline should be “Bari Weiss Has Five Regular-Looking Bodyguards and One Male Model in Security Detail.” The American people deserve the unbiased truth!
