Contents
Keeping Up
Anxious dispatches from an enclave teeming with status-and-wealth-obsessed New Yorkers.
At the Surf Lodge in Montauk at 5 p.m. on a Sunday.
1.
You Gotta Have a Gimmick
All these families do is rotate among their different backyards. The people who have parties at restaurants are tourists. Our clients want us to do larger cocktail parties plus sit-down dinners and dancing for 100 or more. It’s like a wedding. We do these parties every year, so there’s a pressure to reinvent all the time. You have to adjust as the season goes on. By August, everyone has had enough burrata. Last year, every kids’ party was Taylor Swift–themed. White parties are now a hard “no” because of Sean Combs. We recently did a White Lotus party where we re-created the entrance to the hotel, complete with the fountain and the Vespa. We imported 50 of those ceramic sculptures of people’s heads from Sicily and made them centerpieces.
We don’t do the beach anymore unless it’s a private beach. We don’t do clambakes and that kind of stuff anymore.
Our new clients just have no idea what it costs. Recently, a few people wanted to keep the budget to five figures, and with everything that they wanted, we told them, “I’m sure other planners might tell you that you can, but there is no way to have the party you want for less than six figures, so let’s part as friends.” —Keren Precel, party planner
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2.
And a Weather Consultant
Certain things are different now. Years ago, you would hire a band and they would do their playlist. But now the night is more curated. The hosts have several Zoom calls with lead singers, they’re sharing Spotify lists, the band is creating entirely new repertoires. As for invitations: It’s not Paperless Post. We work with platform designers that are custom-designing invitations. Sometimes, with an e-vite, you’ll hear the client’s voice. And then we have a lot of weather people on call. Private companies that are geotagging addresses and zooming in on what could happen. Weather consultants, essentially, whom we pay.” —Francesca Abbracciamento, party planner
3.
This, However, Does Not Apply to the 0.0001 Percent
Some people have parties to affirm their membership in their group or to apply for membership in a higher-ranking group. You have two kinds of rich people out here. There’s old money and then there’s the HENRY: “high earner, not rich yet.” They’re not the 0.0001 percent but the next group over, and they’re working overtime to get into the inner circle. They see a party as a marker for themselves, so they often spend more, especially on their kids’ parties. Their idea of luxury is like what you would get at Hotel du Cap or Carbone. The crypto people are in a whole other category. They’ll build a mega-mansion in Bridgehampton and spend millions throwing frat parties. The extravagance is the point. The old money will have fried chicken and a badminton tournament instead of getting the Chainsmokers to open for Miley Cyrus. They’re not worried about anyone else or how their party will be judged. They have other markers of status. “Are you invited to so-and-so’s parties?” You’re on the list, or you’re not on the list. —Anonymous, party fixture
4.
For Them, It’s All About Casting
The people with big houses have dinners to show off their big houses. I’m a good example of that. Truly rich people never leave their house. They have full-time help, and they’re walking in circles in their neighborhood saying “hi” to the same people they see at the beach club or the golf club. It’s the same crowd they know from New York or St. Barts. In the old days, we used to have parties for hundreds of people for $100,000 like it was nothing. If you got Alicia Keys in your living room, you were in the million-dollar range. There used to be over-the-top kids’ parties with carnivals and rides, too. That culture has changed. It’s all become more turned down out here. The guest lists are tighter, more intimate. You must be in the right circle to get the right invite. Obviously, having your own private jet is a flex, and the golf-club thing, but the biggest symbol of status in the Hamptons is your network of friends. It’s your dinner parties and who comes to them. It’s a ten-person dinner party with ten millionaires at the table. That’s the real status symbol versus a hundred-person rave with a bunch of caddyshacks. The other status symbol? “Oh, I’m so rich I don’t even need to go to New York City.” Far more people spend all July and August in Florida than ever before. Like, in a shocking way. It used to be just the wives would stay down there and the husbands went back and forth. Now, the husbands have moved down there all season. If you’re really rich, who wants to be in New York in July and August? It’s fucking disgusting. —Anonymous, hostess
Thank you for subscribing and supporting our journalism. If you prefer to read in print, you can also find this article in the June 23, 2025, issue of New York Magazine.
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